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Topic: New disease: COLTS
Official name: COLTS - Chronic Obsessive LUD-Tracking Syndrome.
Common name: LUDitis (pronounced EL-YOU-DIE-TIS)
There are too many afflicted on this forum, and it's bad for you. Symptoms:
1- Logging onto your USCIS profile page more than once a day to look for any LUD changes, not realizing that LUDs are, for the most part, overrated.
2- Looking for LUDs when you are not supposed to see one, and/or freaking out when you don't see one. Examples: Filing for an EAD or AP renewal and then obsessively waiting to see an LUD on your I-485; seeing an LUD on your dependent's case and panicking when you don't see one on yours too (or vice versa); or having your fingerprints taken and then panicking when you don't see an LUD within 2 hours. In extreme cases, you don't see an LUD after submitting your response to an RFE, and even though USCIS tells you that they received it, you are so panicked by not seeing your holy LUD that you... SEND YOUR RFE AGAIN !!
3- Panicking, freaking out, or perhaps experiencing a rush of euphoria for no reason when you DO see an LUD. Examples: You are not yet within processing time for your application but you see a random LUD that is probably just a system update; or you see an LUD on an application that was approved several months or years ago (in extreme disease cases, only 2 days ago) and have a meltdown because you think the approval is going to be revoked or that there is some other problem with your approved case.
4- Giving advice to others who are freaking out for no reason without informing them that they are freaking out for no reason, thus propagating and encouraging COLTS.
5- Getting so anxious upon seeing a "soft" LUD that you start a new Trackitt thread asking people to waste their time speculating with you as to what it could mean. In extreme disease cases, the soft LUD causes you to call USCIS immediately - using the POJ method of course.
6- Continuing to look for LUDs for a while AFTER receiving your green card. The longer you practice logging into CRIS after receiving the green card, the more serious your condition. If you continue to do so beyond a month after receiving your green card, medical intervention may be required.
7- Getting upset, dismayed, or offended by this list of symptoms. Or, taking it personally when confronted with the fact that you're suffering from COLTS and getting defensive, offensive, or both. These are BIG indications that you're suffering from COLTS.
Remember folks, COLTS is bad for you.
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Lol..good one..guilty as charged. But I have started doing it only after the publication of August bulletin
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Looks like you have been afflicted with COTTS: Chronic Obsessive Trackitt-Tracking Syndrome
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I think im suffering from COTTS. I dont check my online status on USCIS but visit trackitt every hour
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COLTS: Chronic Obsessive LUD-Tracking Syndrome.
COLTS is the progeny of the night'mare called USCIS ;=) |
Actually it is soon going to be included on the I-693 Medical Report form. If you test positive, you'll need to get psychiatric clearance to proceed with the adjustment of status application.
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Is it in the approved list of disease.
I definitely know of an approved list of slaughterhouses (CIS could be on this list), but a "list of approved diseases"? Why would anyone approve of any disease? |
You seem to know a whole lot about it. Are you a recovering COLTS-oholic?
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Like the Restlesslegs syndrome ..........and no I am not kidding
Sounds like a term on a stud farm - result ->COLTS :) |
PalGuy,
you are something elase man. You just hit the nail right on spot. I thaught it was only me
who was suffering with that problem. Way to go man, you made my day.
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I think I am infected...Oh God.
I saw an LUD today on mine and my spouse's case but not my child? ....mmmmm
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I think I am infected...
Pls make sure that the infection is on the approved list of infections... |
I'm kind of new to trackitt..but it looks I'm already infected with COLTS.. OMG very robust and contagious disease.. haha you are funny.. :)
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I can see a lot of ppl do this. Did the FDA approve a drug for a cure??? Or like some other diseases there is NO cure for this case.
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It is a terminal disease - termination occurs with the receipt of a card that is pinkish in color.
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++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I can see a lot of ppl do this. Did the FDA approve a drug for a cure??? Or like some other diseases there is NO cure for this case
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FDA has found the source for the disease is USCIS and sent for senate hearing how to deal with it/cure for it..
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hopefully the USCIS will be out with the cure for it come October 1, 2008 and we all will be disease free soon after.
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razaabbas: This is almost like Bush's dream that Iraq & Afghanistan will become the 51st & 52nd states of the US.
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razaabbas: This is almost like Bush's dream that Iraq & Afghanistan will become the 51st & 52nd states of the US.
good point. if all the countries are made states within US and citizens thereof becomes citizens of US inherently, we won't need GC line anymore..
if Bush can dream, why can't I? (neither his going to come true, nor mine... oh sorry, I underrated myself by comparing with Bush). discard this comparison. |
I just called my insurrance...They said they won't cover it before I get GC. After that it will go away anyway...Damn !
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well it might just relapse after 5 yrs with the citizenship...:)
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the only other thing that comes close to COLTS is Cigs. Fight fire with fire.
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Can't help it. Actually I was infected yesterday and I guess I will get cured when I get the Green Pill. Thanks for the diagnosis anyway.
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New bill under consideration:
To allocate H1B under "special category" - That will allow USCIS to hire qualified "immigration officers" from foriegn countries, as USCIS is severely backlogged and their processing dates are moving backwords and either they are unable to hire or not willing to hire despite fee hikes. It is noted that this move might bring "COLTS" under control with in three months. Only big question is if bill passed then who will process these H1B files ?
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The list of symptoms has now risen to six (first post above), given new evidence. Symptom #5 is new.
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I guess the Only remedy is "Green Card", Once in Life
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we need to immediately look for genetic susceptibility and other markers for COLT and COTT
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There are so many people affected which should warrant a LUDA (LUD Anonymous)
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Uh Oh Diagnosed with COLTS... Help Guys!!!!!!! Just recd. this message on USCIS site Friday evening :-(
It was reported to us that your IP address or internet gateway has been locked out for a select period of time. This is due to an unusually high rate of use. In order to avoid this issue please take this opportunity to create a Customer account (single applicant) or a Representative account (representing many individuals, such as lawyers, charitable groups, or corporations). Each account allows you to generate a Portfolio of receipt numbers. Building a portfolio containing your receipt number(s) eliminates your need to manually enter the receipt number and extract each case status. You will automatically be emailed changes to each case as updates occur. This email notification will occur within 12 to 24 hours of any progress made for every receipt number contained in your portfolio. There is no lockout feature associated with your portfolio and there is no wasted time on your part checking a receipt number where no advancement has been made.
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Beware...symptons/diesease will be more intensive on monday morning & friday evening....
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Guys,
Is there any vaccine/shot available? :-)
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Guys,
Is there any vaccine/shot available? :-)
No. The only known treatment is to be knocked on the head with a sledge hammer about 30 or 40 times. But this is only a treatment, not a cure, mind you. |
Thanks Palguy and others
After a very long time, I had a very good laugh after reading the email chain
Good relief for people affected with Syndrome
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Well, I think I've got the sympthoms. :(
Has anyone found a cure?.... any ideas of what the consequences of leaving it untreated might be?
LOL...
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Guys,
Is there any vaccine/shot available? :-)
No. The only known treatment is to be knocked on the head with a sledge hammer about 30 or 40 times. But this is only a treatment, not a cure, mind you.
with this type of treatment, there won't be any diseases left in this world. let alone the COLTS |
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